I haven't made it back to my novel yet, but I have been doing some cathartic writing just for myself. I made it back to writing.com last night and dashed off a flash fiction entry for that day's competition. It had to be less than 300 words and use the words clay, list and nose. I spent less than an hour on it, and thought it was pretty cute in a limited time span.
http://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1710137-Right-under-your-nose
ETA - What do you think? I had a comment that it was a bit too subtle and I needed to make it clearer who the character was.
You're a great writer Kez! That short passage is just like picking up a book and opening to a random page ... flows well and makes me want to know more ... why he ripped open the envelope with his teeth, what he's infamous for, and why someone had written a song about him.
ReplyDeleteAll the right ingredients to "make your reader want more". Is this related to something bigger you're working on?
If you want criticism ... the only thing I'd say is I wouldn't have used the word prancing, too fanciful for a bored guy, or companion, because it's too soft to match the longing he seems to feel. Just my opinion though. I think it's awesome that you're entering competitions, and it's a great way to hoe your skills.
I might sign up for Writing.com soon, it would be nice to have some challenges and keep learning!
:) Vanessa
I think I need to make it clearer! The character was supposed to be Rudolph the red Nosed reindeer - hence the prancing :)
ReplyDeleteAha, now that makes sense!!
ReplyDelete